It was a dark and stormy night...
Dachshund was looking down at the ocean, contemplating what had happened the night before.
"It should still be there," he said with a triumphant smirk. "Pretty soon, I'll..."
He looked around and made sure that there wasn't anybody to spy on him.
He knew he had to act soon, or leave town. He had to move with the easiest of grace and dive in before the run rose.
"Or should I leave it?" he asked himself as he studied his fingers. "I already made it this far..."
So he dove right in.
Great idea...but you need to make sure that each cue sparks a different story. I find that your pieces pretty much have the same characters in it like Dachshund for example. Your paragraphs also need to be longer. Other than that good job on this. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Emily 100%
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