My teacher wants us to do ambiguously criminal behavior and listen in on conversations not involving us! Hooray, because if a teacher says we can do it, it's morally right.
Background: The characters of my mom and Alison have not talked to each other in two days, due to both being busy. They finally have a chance to talk.
Setting: My sister's party.
Mom: Hello?
Alison: Hi. How are you?
Mom: Good. How are you?
Alison: Good.
Mom: How are you feeling.
Alison: [Sigh] A little sick.
Mom: Oh...
Alison: How's {Jonathan}?
Mom: He's good.
Alison: And {my step-dad}?
Mom: He's alright.
Alison: And how's Gucci?
Mom: She's good, she's good. [Picks up crochet needles, holds up yarn.]
Alison: [scratches her left arm with her right arm.]
[Awkward silence]
I was amazed by this conversation. It gave me a good look into the minds of my family, and how their actions shape the world around them. It was a spectacular conversation.
And here's another conversation.
Background and Setting: These two kids (males, estimated ages to be around ten-twelve) on the bus were talking. They are sitting in seats adjacent to one another.
Boy 1: Dude, I got the game.
Boy 2: Which one?
Boy 1: The new Kingdom Hearts game-
Boy 2: Oh, yeah, yeah... [Dusts off his left shoulder] What's it like?
Boy 1: Oh, uh...The graphics are good...Not a lot of good sound, uh... [Pause, possibly for dramatic tension]
Boy 2: Oh, okay...
Boy 1: So yeah.
Boy 2: Yeah.
Boy 1: See that movie, with the thing?
Boy 2: The thing?
Boy 1: Uh, the movie with the cops and the...the thing.
Boy 2: No, I didn't. But which film?
Boy 1: Never mind.
[Bus stops suddenly, both lurch forward]
Boy 2: Woah!
Boy 1: I know, right? [chuckle] But yeah, how was your weekend?
Boy 2: It was good, I guess. How's yours?
Boy 1: Good, good.
[After four stops Boy 2 gets off the bus]
I was shocked by this conversation, but intrigued by its simplicity, with a lack of underlying themes.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Int.
With the release of the movie, Dachshund Disaster, I was given a rare chance to interview the author of the novel the movie was based on, Jonathan Cabral Rocha
Me: "Pleasure to meet you."
Rocha: "Likewise."
Rocha is the author of several cult classics, such as Why Twilight and Glee Sucks, Flesh-Eating Zombie-Hookers, and Dachshund Disaster. He mainly focuses on satire aimed at young adults.
Me: "You recently released a new story. Care to tell us about it?"
Rocha: "Part A is about a young girl and her dog. They are going to the zoo. As my tract, it's a comedy."
Me: "How do you feel about Dachshund Disaster making its big-screen debut?"
Rocha: "Normally, I dislike adaptions of books, games, what have you. But I was involved with the creative process of the movie. I can say that Dachshund Disaster the movie is faithful to the book."
Rocha had previously worked as a movie critic with Roger Ebert. He gained notoriety for his scathing reviews.
His tirade against Justine Beaver-Gaga is still commonly circulated online, months after his rant on an American television show, The Colbert Report.
Me: "What is Dachshund Disaster about?"
Rocha: "I decided to dip into politics and write bout the segregation of pit-bulls and other dogs in Honolulu. I felt people should be aware that no dog is a threat and should all be given loving homes."
The movie has already gained a lot of controversy" several followers of the kitten activist Adolf Kitler are denouncing the movie as pro-dog propaganda and slander of the Kitty Movement.
The Iowanatta sect of the Kitty Movement is holding a book-burning of Dachshund Disaster.
Me: "Pleasure to meet you."
Rocha: "Likewise."
Rocha is the author of several cult classics, such as Why Twilight and Glee Sucks, Flesh-Eating Zombie-Hookers, and Dachshund Disaster. He mainly focuses on satire aimed at young adults.
Me: "You recently released a new story. Care to tell us about it?"
Rocha: "Part A is about a young girl and her dog. They are going to the zoo. As my tract, it's a comedy."
Me: "How do you feel about Dachshund Disaster making its big-screen debut?"
Rocha: "Normally, I dislike adaptions of books, games, what have you. But I was involved with the creative process of the movie. I can say that Dachshund Disaster the movie is faithful to the book."
Rocha had previously worked as a movie critic with Roger Ebert. He gained notoriety for his scathing reviews.
His tirade against Justine Beaver-Gaga is still commonly circulated online, months after his rant on an American television show, The Colbert Report.
Me: "What is Dachshund Disaster about?"
Rocha: "I decided to dip into politics and write bout the segregation of pit-bulls and other dogs in Honolulu. I felt people should be aware that no dog is a threat and should all be given loving homes."
The movie has already gained a lot of controversy" several followers of the kitten activist Adolf Kitler are denouncing the movie as pro-dog propaganda and slander of the Kitty Movement.
The Iowanatta sect of the Kitty Movement is holding a book-burning of Dachshund Disaster.
Story
"Ready to go?" my big sister asked as she put a leash on our dog.
"Of course!" I said cheerfully, looking down at my dachshund sneakers.
We were going for a walk down Ugelli Alley, which was the shortest path to the zoo. I was very eager to see the Tasmanian dachshunds.
I admired my sister. She was dressed to the nines in Dachsacci-designed dressed, much like the dress she wore now.
She was kind enough to take me to the zoo, and she bought me a similar dress.
"How about ice cream afterwards?" I asked.
"You'll spoil your dinner," she said, much to my chagrin.
We strolled out of the house and followed our dachshund down the allay. The breeze struck us powerfully, but we were undaunted in our quest.
Our dachshund stopped suddenly.
"What is it, girl?" my sister asked.
The dog growled as a large man with a large gun walked briskly towards us.
"Get down, roaches!" he commanded.
I started to scream. My sister covered my mouth and guided me to the ground.
The two of us were on the ground, at the mercy of the wan. He grabbed our dachshund's leash from my sister's hand.
"What's going on?" I cried out to my sister.
"It'll be okay," she told me. "Stay quiet."
The man kicked my side and told me to stop crying.
"Stop it!" my sister hissed at him.
The man lifted me up by my arm and said to my sister, "You'll pay for your people's crime against mine."
I whimpered.
"Don't hurt her!" my sister screamed.
"What's going on?" I asked. "Please, mister, let me go!"
"You are young and strong," the man said to my sister. "You can work in the mines. As for your sister..."
Our dachshund started to bark. The man let her leash go. We watched as the dog ran away.
"You can be a slave," the man said to me. "And I'll-"
My sister screamed and ran at him, leading the man to shoot her twice in the chest.
I was too shocked to cry. I had no idea what was going on. This was a horrible, scarring experience.
"Come, girl," the man said to me. He started to drag me away from the scene.
To my surprise, our dachshund ran out at us and sunk her teeth into the man's calf.
The man swore. I took my chance to escape and ran.
"Sister," I whimpered as I saw my sister's limp form on the ground.
I gave her a hug.
She did not respond.
"Of course!" I said cheerfully, looking down at my dachshund sneakers.
We were going for a walk down Ugelli Alley, which was the shortest path to the zoo. I was very eager to see the Tasmanian dachshunds.
I admired my sister. She was dressed to the nines in Dachsacci-designed dressed, much like the dress she wore now.
She was kind enough to take me to the zoo, and she bought me a similar dress.
"How about ice cream afterwards?" I asked.
"You'll spoil your dinner," she said, much to my chagrin.
We strolled out of the house and followed our dachshund down the allay. The breeze struck us powerfully, but we were undaunted in our quest.
Our dachshund stopped suddenly.
"What is it, girl?" my sister asked.
The dog growled as a large man with a large gun walked briskly towards us.
"Get down, roaches!" he commanded.
I started to scream. My sister covered my mouth and guided me to the ground.
The two of us were on the ground, at the mercy of the wan. He grabbed our dachshund's leash from my sister's hand.
"What's going on?" I cried out to my sister.
"It'll be okay," she told me. "Stay quiet."
The man kicked my side and told me to stop crying.
"Stop it!" my sister hissed at him.
The man lifted me up by my arm and said to my sister, "You'll pay for your people's crime against mine."
I whimpered.
"Don't hurt her!" my sister screamed.
"What's going on?" I asked. "Please, mister, let me go!"
"You are young and strong," the man said to my sister. "You can work in the mines. As for your sister..."
Our dachshund started to bark. The man let her leash go. We watched as the dog ran away.
"You can be a slave," the man said to me. "And I'll-"
My sister screamed and ran at him, leading the man to shoot her twice in the chest.
I was too shocked to cry. I had no idea what was going on. This was a horrible, scarring experience.
"Come, girl," the man said to me. He started to drag me away from the scene.
To my surprise, our dachshund ran out at us and sunk her teeth into the man's calf.
The man swore. I took my chance to escape and ran.
"Sister," I whimpered as I saw my sister's limp form on the ground.
I gave her a hug.
She did not respond.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Cues: The thing came hurtling from space and crashed into the building, engulfing it in flames.
The thing came hurtling from space and crashed into the building, engulfing it in flames. Dachshund could hear the agonizing cries of the people inside as they slowly burned to death.
"We have to do something!" Dachshund cried to his men. "We have to put out the fire!"
"But how?" Shundach asked. "We can't afford to waste the water."
"But we can't let those people die!"
"If we save them, we won't have enough water to last us through the drought. The needs of the many-"
"Outweigh the needs of the few, I know..."
Dachshund stared out to the object that crashed. Was it one of those planes he heard of? He hadn't seen one in over thirty years.
"Do you guys know what that is?" he asked. "Are there any people or supplies inside it?"
"It looks like a saucer," Ellis asked as she scratched behind her ears. "I think we shouldn't go near it until we know that it's safe."
Dachshund listened to the agonizing cried of the people in the building. He sighed to them and said, "We could risk wasting the water and try to save the object. Should we try it?"
"We have to do something!" Dachshund cried to his men. "We have to put out the fire!"
"But how?" Shundach asked. "We can't afford to waste the water."
"But we can't let those people die!"
"If we save them, we won't have enough water to last us through the drought. The needs of the many-"
"Outweigh the needs of the few, I know..."
Dachshund stared out to the object that crashed. Was it one of those planes he heard of? He hadn't seen one in over thirty years.
"Do you guys know what that is?" he asked. "Are there any people or supplies inside it?"
"It looks like a saucer," Ellis asked as she scratched behind her ears. "I think we shouldn't go near it until we know that it's safe."
Dachshund listened to the agonizing cried of the people in the building. He sighed to them and said, "We could risk wasting the water and try to save the object. Should we try it?"
Cues: She slammed the door, screaming at the top of her lungs, "You have GOT to be kidding me!"
She slammed the door, screaming at the top of her lungs, "You have GOT to be kidding me!"
"Never!" Dachshund laughed as he held the treats to her door. "These are mine, now!"
"No, I bought those treats with my hard-earned cash."
"But I won them!"
"All you one is this..."
Evangeline opened her door and pushed her brother against a wall.
"Ow, you meanie!" Dachshund whined. "I'm telling Auntie..."
As Dachshund made it to the stairs, Evangeline ran up to him and pushed him. Dachshund tumbled down the stairsand hit the bottom with enough force to create a crack in the wall.
Dachshund sprang up and pulled the carpat that lined the stairs, causing Evangeline to roll down. Dachshund jumped out of the way at the last possible moment.
"You bastard!" Evangeline screeched. "You cannot win!"
"I will tell on you, even if it's the last thing I do."
"Believe me, it will be."
"Never!" Dachshund laughed as he held the treats to her door. "These are mine, now!"
"No, I bought those treats with my hard-earned cash."
"But I won them!"
"All you one is this..."
Evangeline opened her door and pushed her brother against a wall.
"Ow, you meanie!" Dachshund whined. "I'm telling Auntie..."
As Dachshund made it to the stairs, Evangeline ran up to him and pushed him. Dachshund tumbled down the stairsand hit the bottom with enough force to create a crack in the wall.
Dachshund sprang up and pulled the carpat that lined the stairs, causing Evangeline to roll down. Dachshund jumped out of the way at the last possible moment.
"You bastard!" Evangeline screeched. "You cannot win!"
"I will tell on you, even if it's the last thing I do."
"Believe me, it will be."
Cues: Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, the princess Dachshund raised her paw and readied to speak to her people. This was a bi-annual event, and should she mess up, she knew she would lose all respect and admiration of her people. Needless to saw, she was incredibly nervous.
"Are you ready?" came the voice of her attendand, Lenny.
"Ready," she said with a sigh. "Should I-"
The felt something descend upon her.
She woke up some time in a daze. Finding herself in the catacombs under her palace, she started to call out for help.
"No one will listen to you," came Lenny's voice. He scoffed and went on, "And what a shame, since you can't make that speech."
"Why, Lenny?" Dachshund asked. "Whyhave you betrayed me? Why are you trying to ruin my kingdom?"
"I think you know why."
"Are you ready?" came the voice of her attendand, Lenny.
"Ready," she said with a sigh. "Should I-"
The felt something descend upon her.
She woke up some time in a daze. Finding herself in the catacombs under her palace, she started to call out for help.
"No one will listen to you," came Lenny's voice. He scoffed and went on, "And what a shame, since you can't make that speech."
"Why, Lenny?" Dachshund asked. "Whyhave you betrayed me? Why are you trying to ruin my kingdom?"
"I think you know why."
Cues: It was a dark and stormy night...
It was a dark and stormy night...
Dachshund was looking down at the ocean, contemplating what had happened the night before.
"It should still be there," he said with a triumphant smirk. "Pretty soon, I'll..."
He looked around and made sure that there wasn't anybody to spy on him.
He knew he had to act soon, or leave town. He had to move with the easiest of grace and dive in before the run rose.
"Or should I leave it?" he asked himself as he studied his fingers. "I already made it this far..."
So he dove right in.
Dachshund was looking down at the ocean, contemplating what had happened the night before.
"It should still be there," he said with a triumphant smirk. "Pretty soon, I'll..."
He looked around and made sure that there wasn't anybody to spy on him.
He knew he had to act soon, or leave town. He had to move with the easiest of grace and dive in before the run rose.
"Or should I leave it?" he asked himself as he studied his fingers. "I already made it this far..."
So he dove right in.
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